"Miracle on 34th Street"
a/k/a/ Adoptees' Rights
These areYour Opinions
Adoptees' Rights to Their Original Birth Certificates
Did you know it is illegal for
adoptees to obtain their
original birth certificates in most states?
(Editor's Note: I have put ALL comments in here, even those that don't directly answer that question, because it is your opinion, and in an effort to be fair to all I will post them. But please keep in mind that just because an adoptee has their original birth certificate, it does not *guarantee* that the birth parent will be found, nor does the lack of having it *guarantee* the birth parent they won't be found. The real issue is who owns that ORIGINAL birth certificate?)
I came across your page and carefully took the time to read over
all the messages and facts that were posted on the page. However, that in no way swayed my
opinion of adoptee's rights. See I can say as I will because I AM adopted, I was adopted
when I was a baby and I think that all adoption records should be sealed, destroyed,
burned, or what have you. There are many reasons why people are put up for adoption and
many of those people would like to remain a mystery. Imagine the drastic measures women
take if they knew that when their child turned 18 they would be able to find them. The abortion rate would sky rocket, pro life would have a field day.
The point of adoption is to give up your child to give them a better life. No strings attached. I have never wondered about my biological parents, most of my friends that are also adopted don't wonder about them either. I know that we can not speak for all of those ever adopted in this country but we all have happy fulfilling lives that would never have been had we not been given up for adoption. Birth Certificates, and medical records are
just excuses to blow open the adoption system. Those rights were given up by our birth parents, a small price to pay to grow up in places other than crack neighborhoods to teenage parents who can't care for us with abusive addicts for fathers. I think other would agree.
MY FEELINGS ON ADOPTEE'S RIGHTS
My name is Sandra Dee Kent, that is a name by marriage as is Hill and Wonders, Chew is my maiden name, I live at 37247 Price Dr., Zephyrhills, Florida 33541, Pasco County. My E-mail address is Sandy37k@yahoo.com, my birth date is September 8, 1960.
I am a birth mother. I gave birth to a baby boy March 27,1984, he was 7 weeks premature, he weighed 3 lbs.14 oz.. He was a tiny guy, but strong, he spent 21 days in the hospital, the same amount of time he should of been in my womb. His name is Jerremy Randall Hill, he was born in Agusta, Georgia. Then transported to the hospital at Fort Gordon, Georgia. There he fought to gain the weight needed to come home, we came to Florida,stayed with my mother, he was not well accepted in my family. After 8 months, I was convinced that he would be better off with 2 parents, hopefully bi-racial;so that he'd be exposed to both cultures. I was not financially secure, nor did I have a home of my own. We got very
dirty looks from people when we went out in public,the remarks people made of I thought stopped back in the sixties, but once again I was exposed to the prejudices of society, so I easily enough believed that Jerremy would be better off with a couple that could love him and support him through his endeavors to survive this cruel world. So I placed him for adoption, Jerremy was 8 months old,he'd grown to be a big boy. He was behind in other areas, but not size. The adoption agency told me they would take him, keep him for 3 weeks so I could think it over. Everyday I wondered, I did not want my little boy sitting in a
foster home; 10 days later the agency called an said they had a couple that wanted to adopt Jerremy; they needed a decision,so I said ok, I'll come sign the papers. I went down there and they had told me I could write Jerremy a letter, no identifying information or mentioning of other siblins. I took the letter to them, I asked them what would happen to it; I was told one (1) copy goes with him to his adopted parents the original stays in his file.Now if he is going to have the right to this letter,why for heavens sake can he not have his birth certificate. I believe every child has the RIGHT to know where he came from. For those mother's that do not want to be found"TOUGH" maybe the child did not want to be born. I miss my son everyday of our lives, I did then and still do believe I did what was best for my son at the time. If I had it to do again and everything was exactly the same, I'd do it again. However today, I would have kept him. I believe he has the right to not only his
birth certificate, but to know who and where I am, he has the right to tell me how he feels about what I did;Good or Bad. I brought him into this world he did not ask me to,and because of that I owed him 18 years of careing,teaching,housein, feeding and loving him,a debt I never paid nor can I now,so the least I can do is answer his questions and listen
to his feelings. So yes I vote give adoptees all the information in their files,birth mothers you owe it to that child to tell him about his bloodline and listen to how he feels about what you did. And ADOPTEE'S, also have a right and a responsibility to know why they were
placed for adoption.. And in closeing, to all adoptive parents; please be secure enough in the fact that your child loves you and know you love him enought to help him find us. Because WE loved them we gave them to you to love; we do not wish to steal them from you; only allow the love we have carried for them to come forth...Thanks for listening.
Sandra D. Kent
I'm starting a campaign to have the old (pre-1928) Missouri
birth and death records OPENED. I hope to have legislation pre-filed this December.
Owing to problems of spelling, handwriting, mis-indexing, etc., no agency can properly search records. The interested individual (or a professional researcher) can find data.
I submitted application and fees for the birth and death of my aunt; they found niether! Pre-1910 records are open. I found both.
My great-grandma died I know not when. Her married name was Zakrzewski, pronounced Za-shev-ski. I'll find her when the records are opened.
My name is Doerr; I've seen it spelled "Ter".
The Department of Health, Bureau of Vital Records, has a 'cash cow' in requiring a $10 search fee, but in having no obligation to find a record.
Bob Doerr in the beautiful Missouri Ozarks
I am relatively new at this whole "looking" thing.
However, I have had definite opinions about what an adoptee should have a right to know. I
am 35 years old and a mother of 4 children. I married a man whose family has a history of
female cancers. In fact, his mother and two of his aunts have successfully battled cancer.
His grandmother and an uncle
were not so lucky. This is a concern to me because of the genetic tendency that my two daughters have inherited. Even if I never meet my biological mother, I would love to have access to my biological families medical records. When I was adopted in the early 60's, all that was passed along to the adopting parents were things like diabetes and stroke histories. That is just not enough. My younger brother was found by his biological mother about 6 years ago. We knew that he had a family history of diabetes and had an uncle that died from related complications. So my question is this, do my daughters have to live in
fear for their lives because a state says that I cannot have access to what my genes carry? I think that is wrong and immoral. Even if I never have any kind of contact with my biological relatives, it is important to my family and to my own health to know what I inherited. This can only be accomplished by letting adoptees have access to their
history. Thank you for the opportunity to "vent". I have never been able to talk
very openly about my opinions and this certainly helps.
Cathy S. Neeley
I don`t understand how the Government Agencies take for granted
that they have the right to be a self appointed God, and dictate to adoptees. In my
opinion they are telling us that we have no right to know our birth brothers &
sisters. Even at my age fifty four. I feel I missed out on sibling bonding
that developes at a young age I have one birth sister that was
raised in the same community as myself & our relationship & sense of belonging has developed over the last fifty years, but with the other siblings( five ) that we have found since 1976 it is impossible to ever make up for all those special moments that we would have shared. The brother I am searching for is a biological sibling. We have the same mother and father. The others, except for the sister that grew up in the same community as myself, have a different father. Thanks again
I am a birthmother searching for the son I relinquished for
adoption in NC. I am 100% in favor of adoptees being able to obtain their original birth
certificates. It would sure be a lot easier if Social Services in North Carolina would
help us. I spoke to a woman in Raleigh about obtaining my non-identifying information --
she had my file on her desk, in her hands,
and couldn't tell me anything. She had my child's name right in front of her.
It isn't right that she should know and I can't. I know it is her job, but he is my birthson -- it should be up to us to decide whether we want to see each other or not. He is 31 years old -- he grew under my heart and I can't hold him, touch him, hug him, kiss him, comfort him, or tell him I would give my life for him. You are right, animals have more rights and activists on their side than people do. Yes, it is an emotional issue, fraught with pain and heartache on both sides, but if he came to me I would hold on to him and never let go. I had no other choice in 1967, if I wanted a place to live, that is. I knew that without a roof over my head, I could not take care of him. I miss him, and long to see him. If he was looking for me and couldn't cut through the red tape what a tragedy that would be. How many of you have
heard stories about incredible physical strength a mother has when her children are in danger? Now, pretend that you child is in danger and you can't help him or her. That is what it feels like every day of my life. I am now 50 years old, and while that is young nowadays, I do feel time running out. I want to know where my child is. Is that too much to ask? Thanks for reading my letter, Sue
Adoption Rights in Australia
I found my son 5 years ago. I adopted him out in Sydney, Australia. I am from the U.S. but mothers family from Australia. I was sent there in 1969 to put baby up for adoption. To make a long story short. It bothered me for years until I could no longer stand it. My aunty had always sent me newspaper clippings of the adoption laws as they were starting to change some 6-8 years ago. The birth parent or adoptee can now get copies of their original birth certificate and copies of their adoption court paper. You at one time could only get non-identifying information that only gave you the basic information such as the birth
parent was 18 white, liked to knit or that the adopted parents were in their early 20's, housemaker and CPA who lived in a brick home. Not much fun to find anyone with information like that.
I was very lucky that I called the Australian newspaper that did an article on the adoption laws changing and they printed my story. I found my son very soon from the results of that story and after I had found him, I received information about his birth certificate and
adoption court order. I was thrilled to have the information but if I had not of found him through the newspaper story, it would have been hard to find him with the information that was given to me by the new laws that they had passed.
I believe that all records be given to the adopted person and or to the birth parent. It can be a set back to both parties to find their relative.....or.....it can be the most happiest time ever. I do think that there should be some kind of information given also with those papers to help them with the stress of not being accepted or having found the person after they have passed away. There are so many issues that can arise from adoption that people never think of. The adopted child, the adopted parent(s), the birth parent(s) have so much that they go through when the search is completed. It never ends.....
Thank you for your concern and the help that you have given so many people.
This is from birth mother with a happy story.....so many out there have unhappy ones.
My support to have the laws changed and to you and your cause.
I am a 38 year old adoptee. I've been searching for my
birthfamily for 20 years - all this time to have only the name "Infant Fisher"
as "identifying information". I've had health problems ranging from cancer to
spinal arthritis. It is so incredibly disheartening everytime I have to answer
"Unknown - I'm adopted" to the doctors' medical history questions.
In addition to being an adoptee, I am also a birthparent who prays for the day she will one day see her son again. My son was born with health problems (problems considered hereditary). Again, I could not give vital family medical history information. I was young, struggling to make ends meet, but determined to give him the best care - no matter what. That best care turned out to be giving him over, at 3 months of age, to a financially
sound couple who could pay for his medical bills and give him everything I couldn't.
How is this relevant? I can speak from 2 of the 3 sides in this triad. I am denied my own birth certificate. I am denied access to medical information. I am denied access to my genetic heritage. My son is legally denied the same. I have no way of knowing if my birthfamily wants to know of my life now. My son has no way of knowing that I care and love him with all my heart. I have talked with many of both adoptees and birthparents. I
have never met a birthparent who did not care and would not welcome contact.
From what I see in various forums, this is the norm, not the exception. Why, then, are we being denied our rights in order to protect a few? I'm not belittling the reasons of those who wish to maintain their privacy - but if your birthchildren wish to find you badly enough, they will find a way regardless of the laws. In the meantime, the rest are suffering and searching.
Where are OUR rights?
I am a birth mother searching for my son born June 5-8, 1960.
The reason the date are spread for the day of his birth is that I cannot get any
information from the department of Catholic Social Services where the adoption was
handled. My son will be 39 years old next month and it is a shame that the records are
sealed. Why is adoption such a touchy subject.
He has a right to know who his parents are and what ever else he may want to know. I have never forgotten and I have always loved him and I pray to God that some day I will be able to tell him this myself. Michigan laws are open before May 28, 1945 and after Sept 12 of 1980. What about the rest of the children. You want to ask," What did you do with my child, where is he, why won't you tell me". The part that really stinks is when they give you wrong information like the year of birth. A criminal has more rights then people in the adoption triad. Please do as much as you can to get this resolved. You are a wonderful person to use your skills to help so many.
I am a birth parent who has just started my search. there are
not very many people who know I have a daughter I gave up 33 years ago, I have often
wondered what I would do or say if she ever contacted me , since starting my search I have
read so many adoptees pleas and some are heart breaking trying to find who they are and
who they look like , I can not
imagine that feeling of not knowing where I came from and who I look like, and to know medical history is so very important. It is hard for me to comprehend as an adult that if I try to get my daughters birth certificate I will be unable to do so ,and with her being 33 yrs old she will not be able to get it, I can not understand the reasoning around this , if she uses it to try to find me or her father and we don't want any contact , I think as an adult we should have that right to tell her, the government shouldn't be speaking for us. When we as birthmothers sign adoption papers usually we are young and unmarried, we haven't
really lived yet and believe me a lot of pressure was put on us back then to do "THE RIGHT THING". I havn't written to anyone or really put an effort into my search yet , I have only been signing at most of the adoption and reunion sites on line, thinking if my daughter is looking for me she would be on line also.. But after reading some of the
stories from adoptees about not knowing they were adopted , or their birth dates have been changed, I have decided to put more effort into it and try to get some information from the state she was born. All tho I have heard and read that North Caroline is one of the hardest states to get information from, I have been checking up on the state on line and read a week or so ago that they may be starting a mutual consent registery there , and if I understood it right it will begin in July of this year. I do hope my daughter has been told she was adopted and decides to sign a consent form because come July I will be sending for a
form to fill out so she will know I am here and ready to meet her under any conditions she may want. I'm sorry this is so long , but the government has absolutley no right to tell my daughter that I do not want to be contacted so she can't have the most important document that is souly hers"HER BIRTH CERTIFICATE" Thank You for your time to read this and I hope all your effort will help. BIRTHMOTHER OF DAUGHTER BORN 12/9/65 GOLDSBORO, NORTH CAROLINA.
Thank you for this opportunity to express my thought. I found my son in Seattle, Washington the year WARM was developed. I was a founding member of WARM but found my son on my own by back tracking a trail I continued to build until he was 27. He was taken from me because I was a ward of the State when he was born in 1948 and they sell babies- even today - all States. The trail I left was $20.00 donations each year or
when I would move so they had an upto date address. This kept my file open.
I KNOW that there is money to be made in working a hardship on people who are trying to find their own records. If you are talking to the right person they they can and will get your records if you pay enough money. Ask any politician on the 'take', how much money it would take to get your records.
I help other people find their kin and the states that resist the most have the most corrupt leadership. If this knowledge is offensive to anyone then the next step is change. Lets find out how many POLITICIANS have worked the system to suit their needs and then have them help us.
Smacks like Russia in a way. Extortion. Money is the only reason that politics would keep life threatening information and freedom from someone. This is the land of freedom - or
why isn't it? The states that fight the children the most need another look at which flag they are flying. The adoptive parents who agree to this pain to their children will have a wakeup day when their children want to travel to Mexico or Euorpe or Asia and find they have no
identity. How will their adoptive parents explain this? What happened to love, protection, and planning FOR their children?
Lets make the year 2000 the year the USA helps our children instead of using them for monitary gain.
Thank you for this space to express my thought.
I imagine you've been inundated with emails from the
birthmothers over at the SUNFLOWER B/MOM'S SUPPORT GROUP list!! Well, I'm another one!!
I will just say DITTO to everything I've read that the other b/mom's have written about the recent 20/20 program with Connie Chung. I was reunited with my son in 1983 (he was born in 1968). I searched for and found him, but I would have given anything to have him knock on my door! I am also an Adoption Search Consultant and have helped with hundreds, if not thousands, of very successful and positive reunions the past 15 yrs. It is true, as you know, that the MAJORITY of b/mom's DO WANT TO BE FOUND by their children!
I look forward to the day when adoption records are UNSEALED so that my services as an ADOPTION SEARCH CONSULTANT will not be necessary, and people won't have to keep calling and emailing me (I have even heard from a convict in prison who would like to find his birthparents!) for help because they have this "hole" in them that only finding their child or b/parent will fill. Even when a reunion isn't 100% what they expected or hoped for, virtually EVERYONE who has searched & found reports that they are glad they did it, and needed to know! In 15 years of searching, I have only found 2 birthmom's who did NOT want to be found.... one never came around. The other took 2 years, but then did want to and did meet her daughter and they have a very good relationship. All the other POSITIVE reunions we don't hear about (and they aren't 'sensational' enough for 20/20 I guess), so they aren't publicized....but you know as well as I do Linda, that there are many many
very positive reunions....
When a birthmother calls me and asks me to help her search for her child....then that child is found and the birthmother is so thankful for the help, many times she says to me "You don't know what this means to me." I can honestly say to her, "Yes, I do know...remember, I too am a birthmother." That's what keeps me doing what I do. If possible, please keep me informed of anything that can be done to show the OTHER SIDE, the REAL SIDE, of adoption reunions.
Thanks for any help you can give the SUNFLOWER BIRTHMOM GROUP, and the
adoption reform movement in general!!!!
Best to you,
TINA PEDDIE/CA email@example.com 805/467 2707
Reunited b/mom 1983
I wanted so bad to call in to Channel 13 on May 3, 1999 when you
were on Kathy Fountain's show! I am 64 years young and just found my birth family. First I
had to write to The Ohio Dept. of Health for my original birth cert. I had a file
number on the one that I had. Put a check in for $5. and I got my original with my
Mother's and Father's name and address and place of employment at the time of my birth. I
have found my Mothers side of the family and am still looking for my Fathers. But am so
grateful for what I have found so far. You can get the original in Ohio if it has been x number of years since the adoption and you have a file number on your birth certificate. I do hope others can do the same, at least from Ohio.
7982 Powder Horn Cir
Largo, FL 33773-1628
Here is the email that I wrote to Connie Chung after a segnent
on her show May 24, 1999. I am a happily reunited bmom after a 33 year seperation from my
bdaughter. I will leave my web pages for you to read if you like that tells my story form
pregnancy all the way up to my search and reunion day. If you can use it in any way please
feel free to share my story. The start of my story is really on a link in the middle of
the first web page that say Linda's story and poems then the rest follows with the pages
including a link to a half page article that my hometown paper did on my reunion.
First here is my letter to Connie Chung then my web pages will follow.
To Connie Chung....I just finished watching your segment on Adoptees searching for their birthmothers. How could you do such a one side segment?
You grouped "ALL BIRTHMOTHERS" together when you said, birthmothers don't
want to be found......
How could you sit there and say what all birthmothers feel when you are not a birthmother. There are thousands out here wanting to be found. Then the statement was made that now adoptees would see that their dreams of a happy reunion will never happen. This irates me to no end. I felt that you were trying your darnest to deter both sides from searching and only wonder if you had an alterior motive being an adoptive parent yourself. In my opinion you should have never done this segment, since you are a memebr of the adoption triad yourself. I don't think you did your homework before doing this segmant
at all and you should at least let someone come on and tell the other side of
I am a happily reunited birthmom,who searched and found the daughter that I
relinquished at birth 33 years ago. I would be glad for you to come and interview me anytime on this issue.
Very upset in Georgia,
My first web page:
From MaryBeth To Muguet An Adoption Story
My second Web Page:
When The Time Was Right It Happened
Thank you soooo much...you are definitely a birthmoms
angel....here is my e-mail to 20/20 after the show....
How horrible and one sided the adoption program was on 20/20 last night...
What really upset me as a birthmom was when it was said that maybe adoptees willrealize now that there won't be any happy ever after reunions like they dream of.... I can only pray that if my daughter watched that program it won't stop her from searching for me...I would say that Connie Chung is very prejudiced due to her own circumstances and she wants the message sent to stop her own adopted childs birthmom from searching .....
She could have at least acknowledged that it is not always like the cases shown last night and that there are many happy reunions......
I can sympathize with the first birthmoms..her circumstances were horrible but to then turn her back on her child that was extremely cruel ...the second birthmom needs to face her own demons..it isn't her child"s problem obviously it's hers....and then to add insult to injury by suing her own child...she should be thankful that the her daughter even wants to acknowledge her....Once again birthmoms are shown in a bad light..and this needs to be
1-30-66 in NJ
I am a birthmother (dtr born 1958 and relinquished through CHS
in FL) and am sick at heart after watching 20/20 tonight. Besides belonging to the
Sunflower group (about 700 birthmoms, both searching and reunited)
I belong to a rather small list called floridatriad (about 85 members primarily consisting of
searching adoptees; 5-6 birthmoms (mostly reunited) and one adoptive mom who is on with her adopted daughter who is searching.
What a devastating program for both the adoptees and us birthmoms....
I was NEVER promised confidentiality, nor did I want it. I was told that when my dtr
was age 18 she could find me (BOLD-FACED LIE). I believed it however, and it was
what finally got me to sign the final papers of relinquishment after I'd dragged my feet
for _two months_, not wanting to do the final deed and give up my baby.
In 1958 there were NO programs like there are today to help "unwed mothers" to keep their children. We were Pariahs for certain. Had we kept, our children would have been marked as Bastards.
My dtr and I reunited when she was 34, in 1992 -- only because we BOTH searched, contacting Children's Home Society at the same time == you
heard this right--the SAME time. We each wrote a different office of CHS but when they put the letters together, after 8 months it was determined they were date-stamped the same day. Pretty incredible.
We are very happy in our reunion, her adoptive parents are happy we are reunited, so it is a win-win all around.
Birthmothers Never Forget.....we did what we felt we HAD to.
If you can use this story in any way to show that I am but one bmom out of thousands and thousands who sure as heck would NEVER turn her back on her birthchild...feel free.
birthmom dtr. born 1958 in FL (my only child)
reunited 1992 - very happy with holes in our hearts mending...
Proud grandma of boy 10
Hello, my name is Brenda and I honestly believe that the child
and the birthparent should
have the right to the records. people should realize that not all biological parents gave their children up because they wanted to. Mine was taken away by my caseworker. I wanted
very much to keep my child but i was in a home for unwed mothers and I was told by
my case worker that if I didn't give my son up for adoption that they would take my parents to court and they would win anyway and my parents would loose everything they
own trying to fight it. So what choice did I have? This was back in the 60's and you were
not told that you have so much time to change your mind. This is so wrong. I honestly
believe that the adopted parents should help their adopted children find their biological
parents. After all.. if it wasn't for us, they wouldn't have had the glorification of having
a child. They had their adopted child to raise and love while we grew up wondering,
worrying and crying over our child. We never stop loving them and we don' forget them,
like we are told we will. The adopted parents' lives change for the good and the biological
parents lives change for the bad. We are hurt and damaged for life. it's like you are in
mourning for eternity. thank you...
I am a 45 year old adopted male. I love my adoptive parents and
never really consider them as my adoptive parents. They are my ONLY parents.
However, I have known all my life that I was adopted and have never stopped wanting to make contact with my natural mother. I think it is absolutely B____S____ that I do not have the right to my opriginal birth certificate.
I know the girl who gave me up for adoption in 1954 was 18. I know what her name was and I know where she was from. In fact, I have checked the Internet yellow pages for her maiden last name and there are several Picht's in the Suffolk County area of Long Island. I know she has since married and has a family of her own.
How can I possibly make contact with one of these names in the phone book? I feel completely awkward calling up a name in the phone book and introducing myself and who I am trying to find. Can you possibly give me a good way to start off such a conversation.
Or, can you suggest a better way to find my natural mom? She would be about 63 now and I can't help but think that she doesn't often wonder what ever happened to the child she gave up for adoption.
Editor's Note: With the info subsequently provided to us, we used our Site Seeking section to locate his birthmom. PLEASE use it! It is free!
I am an adopted child I lived with My birth mother and
step-father I found out at age 16 that I was adopted only by accident I began My search
for my birth father that was in 1969 my mother wouldnt give me any info on him she was
very bitter about the divorce (I was born on their 1st anniversary) as I grew up and she
had other children I no longer existed, nor do my children or grandchildren, in 1987 I
finally found my dad 3 months after he died, I
was crushed, I then decided to speak to my step-mother, she told me that many times she would find him sitting up at night with the phone book open to mymoms name to call me he never stopped worring or caring about me . When she gave me some pictures of him I instantly recognized him but wasnt sure where I saw him before (I was 6 mo old when they split up) That is when I tried toget a copy of my origional birth certificate Minnesota said the only way I could get it is to have my mom sign a document the way she signed my birth
cert. and they would send it to her. Well she flat out refused I am now 45 and I do have my birth name back but only by divorcing and the court gave it back to me.
I am very blessed though my new husband knew how much it meant to me so he took my name when we got married. So I just want to say that it is important to really know who you are and where you came from regardless of the past and I will continue to fight for my right to have my birth certificate at least I now have a true identity.
Colleen Lee Myhre
I am the adoptive mother of two children and I firmly believe
they should have access to their original birth records. We were able to purchase our
children's original certificates before the adoption was filed with the help of their
birth mother. We realize that most people cannot do this. Our children's records are filed
in a safe deposit box and they may have them when they ask. All adopted persons should
have that option once they are
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